Birthday Wrap-Up

 I can't believe my little boy is now double digits. Yesterday was spent spoiling and doting our Hamlet. I treated him to 'McDelivery' as a special lunch treat, thoroughly blowing his mind. In the evening we went out for Hibachi, a family favorite, before unwrapping presents and lighting up the ice cream cake. Timmy smiled throughout the day and was absolutely delighted with his surprises. 

Because of Timmy's broken arm, selecting a birthday gift was difficult. Anything sport or outdoor related would not have been fun to receive because he won't be able to use it for at least 6 weeks. After a lot of thought and research, we decided to give Timmy his own cell phone.

The phone has every parental control activated and it is highly monitored, but Timmy is delighted to be able to text his friends and family. He immediately squealed with excitement over the idea that he can text Robby when he is in college next year. I think that the direct connection through texting may help make the transition easier next year. As an added bonus, I was elevated to "World's Best Momom" over the gift.

Timmy's birthday officially marks the beginning of my busy season. This weekend we'll be working at AwesomeCon before Robby heads off to his prom. I can't believe it is already time for prom! This year has gone so quickly. At this point, time is not my friend because I am running out of it. My goodness I have so much to do before next autumn.

Happy Birthday Timmy!!

 Yesterday was an exercise in frustrations and miscommunication. Timmy had an appointment scheduled for his arm to determine if he would receive a cast or surgery. Because the office is close to DC and because I needed to have him there at 8:15, it made for a very early morning. Robby was volunteered to come along because I wanted to be able to utilize the HOV-3 lanes without paying the toll. If he had stayed home, the trip would have cost me $54 round-trip. 

After rousing the boys into the car and navigating through DC rush hour traffic, we arrived to his appointment 15 minutes early. A series of issues forced us to travel to a different office to see another new doctor, but in the end he was seen and pronounced healed enough for his bright red cast. While the bones are not perfectly aligned, the doctor feels confident that they will mend correctly without surgery. Timmy was over-the-moon to finally be out of the temporary splint and into a more durable bright red cast.

Talk about the perfect birthday present! Yes, today is my little Hamlet's birthday. We are officially in double digits. It is so hard to believe that my sweet little preemie is now 10.

Today will be spent celebrating Timmy! Happy Birthday to my sweet, curious, precocious, interesting, inquisitive and kind son. I am so proud of you and being your mom is one of the greatest joys of my life.

Answers

 Friday afternoon I finally garnered the courage to pick up the phone to call the Travis County Police Department. We know that nothing will bring Jae back, but we need answers. After a series of family discussions, we have decided that we need to present a united front. I volunteered to lead the charge, primarily because when I am angry I lean towards advocacy. 

I didn't expect many answers on Friday so I was not disappointed. I'm going to keep pressing until we have answers. I know that we will never find peace with what happened, but I am hoping that we can heal through knowledge. We will see, I'm not terribly optimistic that the internal investigation will yield anything insightful or even true.

We spent the weekend at the mall selling FlexyFriends. It was nice to be back to doing something normal and non-death related. Our sales were brisk and the company was delightful. Usually I'm really tired after a weekend of selling but we were able to split the time more equitably this weekend, allowing everybody time to both work and rest. After nearly a year of family sales, I think we are finally finding our groove.

Beginning of the End

 Yesterday Timmy returned to school for the first time since Spring Break. He was delighted to see his friends again which I take as a good sign that I have made the correct school decisions for him. With him occupied in class I feel like I can tiptoe back into my life. The past few weeks have been difficult and chaotic. Returning to 'normal' feels like a vacation.

Of course, there is nothing normal about the weeks to come. Birthdays, a trip to New Orleans, a graduation and a retirement are all on the horizon in the next six weeks. What an exciting time in our family! I suspect that I'm going to need to double down on my coffee intake in order to keep up with the excitement in our house.

Robby's graduation announcements arrived yesterday, heralding the beginning of the end of his high school career. Time has moved so quickly that the memories are making my heart hurt. I also realize that I am not in an emotional place where reflecting is beneficial. Right now, it is best to shove every memory and reflection into the corner until I can process them properly. 

Again, avoidance is my go-to coping mechanism.

No Cast

I was optimistic that Timmy would be waking up in a hard cast this morning. Unfortunately my optimism did not pan out. The doctor did not yet want to proceed to the hard cast, which was disappointing, but he also did not recommend surgery-yet. After examining a new round of x-rays it was decided to give Timmy's arm another week for the bones to settle down. If they continue to shift, surgery will be scheduled after his appointment next week. If the bones stay in place and do not move more, they will put him into a cast. 

While part of me would like to just make a decision and go with it, I understand the need to proceed with caution. I think I spent so many years of my life in orthopedic limbo that the thought of my son riding this roller coaster, even for a short period of time, saddens me. He is ready to ditch the sling and get back to moving. Waiting is hard, even when you know it is the right thing to do.

After Timmy's appointment I spent the afternoon working and cleaning up around the house. I gathered up all of the scraps of paper that were used to plan my brother's memorial service. Seeing the constant reminders of his death has become overwhelming. I think the only way I can maintain my composure will be through utilizing my favorite go to coping strategy: avoidance. I am going to try to focus on my day-to-day activities because thinking about Jae's death.

Today is another step towards normalcy. Timmy is going to return to school after an extended Spring Break. I know that he is missing his friends and resuming his schedule will be good for everybody.

Home

 The past few days have been exhausting, heartbreaking and cathartic. Memorializing my brother has been among the hardest things I've ever attempted. I quickly discovered that it is simply impossible to encapsulate somebody's life in a few words and moments on a random Sunday afternoon. I will continue to hold my brother's memory close to my heart and I will miss him terribly. 

While last week was about grieving and helping my mom, this week I am turning my efforts towards obtaining answers. We would like to know why a blind amputee was shot in the neck when he called for assistance. I have zero confidence in an internal investigation being conducted among the "brotherhood." As expected, we are being met with a wall when we reach out.Thankfully I am versed at chipping away at walls and calling in the cavalry when necessary. I know that nothing will bring Jae back, but I plan on pushing for both accountability and change.

While I'm readying myself for the battle to come, this morning I am focusing on Timmy. We are returning to the ortho for another round of xrays on his arm. Hopefully his bones did not shift and the doctor is able to put Timmy into a hard cast. If the bones moved or or if they are somehow misaligned, we will be preparing for surgery.

Obituary

 https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/legacyremembers/jae-friedman-obituary?id=54833347